When diagnosed with this condition, while a number of people have little problem in making the required amends in their lifestyles, some others aren’t as lucky, and this is particularly true when it comes to the emotional discomfort that can come with this condition. Specific problem thinking patterns can lead to even more distress and difficulty in coping with this condition, and addressing these will only have a beneficial effect on one’s day to day functioning.
Thinking of yourself as worthless simply because you suffer from this condition will not help any, and what you should do in such a case is focus on the many other aspects that go into making you who you are. There could be times, especially during outbreaks, when you could find yourself less desirable and stop liking yourself as much. This is when the condition dominates most of your thinking, and you fail to bring your positive attributes to the fore.
As opposed to thinking that you will never meet another sexual partner, what you should look for instead is proof that substantiates your not having a sexual partner or a meaningful long term relationship. It is not uncommon for people who are diagnosed at first to feel that they never wish to have sex again, and this is primarily because of the fear of rejection. Bear in mind that such fears subside with time, and realistic preventive measures replace unsubstantiated fears.
Assuming responsibility for a partner’s contracting the condition even after having being informed about it well ahead of time is another form of behavior that falls under this category, and the alternative should be giving people the right, the sense, and the responsibility to choose and decide for themselves and be responsible for their own actions.
This is when you view your contracting this condition as a catastrophe, and simply cannot look at the happy alternatives life has to offer. What you have to do in this scenario is work on realizing that while living with this condition is inconvenient, there are scores of herpes sufferers out there who lead close to normal and very happy lives.
If you do view this condition as a catastrophe, what you should be doing is gathering as much information about it as possible, and this is simply because the more you find out, the better equipped you become at coping with it.
This is when you feel that you shouldn’t have contracted this condition, and that your partner was wrong in infecting you. Thoughts during such a phase can jump from realistic desires like having wanted to avoid the condition to unrealistic ones like the transmission DID NOT happen. An alternative approach to this would be thinking that while you wished that you did not contract this condition, you did not know about your partner being infected, and you did the best you could with the information at hand.
If you feel that you do not have to endure this ‘misfortune’ through the pain and discomfort associated with it, try replacing this thought with taking this as one of life’s many twists and turns, and that although it does present you with challenges, almost all of them can be surmounted.
We know that it’s not easy to stick to the suggested constructive alternatives, but it is important that you turn to positive thinking if you hope to feel better. To believe that the positive approach works better than the negative one try and establish why the positive thoughts seem more reasonable than their negative counterparts. Next, take into account that negative thinking will, almost certainly, lead to mental distress, where as the converse is true as well.
Lastly, use the positive thoughts and act on them. This could include not being reclusive, believing that you deserve sexual gratification, and crossing the barrier of not wanting to look for a new sexual partner (if you are single).
Find friends or support organizations that go through the same condition. You will be able to express your feelings and get the anger and negativity out, particularly among understanding people. There is a support group on Facebook created only for people suffering from herpes.